Open My Eyes Lord

Open My Eyes Lord

I am a reluctant nurse and never expected to be training as a nurse midwife.  I had given up the idea of being a midwife several years ago because my state did not license CPMs. I couldn’t stomach the thought of being the kind of midwife who was in an office doing pelvic exams all day. So you can imagine how frustrating it was for me to have the classes on sexually transmitted infections and pelvic exams during the second week of school.

But God is amazing, and his timing is always perfect.  As I sat in class on Wednesday looking at photographs of diseases no one talks about my heart began to melt.  For men and women with a problem “down there,” the way they are cared for can make a tremendous difference on how they choose to live the rest of their life.

As I read about women’s cycles and the common problems, I began to think of Jesus and the woman with bleeding.  He was so gentle with her, so loving and caring.  He stopped what he was doing to heal her. Forgive me because I am not taking the time to grab my Bible right now so I’ll go from memory here. She had tried to get treatment, but had suffered for it.  We can only imagine how she became less of a person in the eyes of those around her.

We may live in a modern society, but we still are not comfortable sharing with others about bleeding issues. By learning how to care for reproductive issues, I have the opportunity to help women just like her.  What an amazing opportunity God has given me to provide a safe place for women in need of help to come and receive comfort. Even if I cannot fix their problems, I can treat them with dignity and respect. For men and women with reproductive issues, the way they are cared for can change the way they see themselves.

So by Friday when I needed to practice a pelvic exam with the simulator I was excited.  I wanted to learn to care for the problems no one will talk about.  I wanted to learn to provide the comfort and healing for the issues people are too embarrassed to tell others about. I want to see the hurting and embarrassed women the way Christ saw the bleeding woman.  I want to care for them with gentleness and love. I want to give them a safe place to be honest about the emotional pain it causes. I want to be there with God as he heals them.

Thank you Lord for opening my eyes and my heart to serving your hurting children.

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Jennifer Vanderlaan CNM MPH is the author of the website. She has been working with expectant families since 2000, training doulas and childbirth educators, and midwives. She has worked with midwives in Central America and Sub-Saharan Africa. Her interest in public health grew in 2010, and she is now a PhD student in a nursing program learning to become a producer of knowledge.

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