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Missing My Friends

Tomorrow my preceptor (the midwife who is teaching me to be a midwife) will leave for the Christian Midwives Association annual conference.  I cannot go because I have school responsibilities and will be leaving for Kenya the next week. This is the second year in a row I will be missing this conference. I love the […]

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Receiving your call

I have had a great few weeks.  I was accepted into a program at school that will allow me to spend two weeks working with non-English speaking immigrants with little or no access to health care.  I was also asked by a colleague to accompany her to Narobi Kenya for a program she is planning.  It is […]

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What am I doing?!?

At my husband’s suggestion, I watched a birth movie tonight.  Not one of the natural births you see in childbirth classes.  A movie about birth as it happens in the United States, the good and the bad  but of course mostly the bad.  And of course, through tears at the end I started asking myself, […]

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What do I do next?

This week I stepped back into a conversation my husband and I began a few years ago.  At the time we were talking about church, what is the purpose and how should an individual participate. We ended the discussion on a question neither of us could answer.  That question came up again this week. “What […]

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Angry with God

I had a wonderful conversation with a young man today who tearfully admitted he was angry with God. My heart broke for him, realizing he has felt this way for a while and felt trapped by this anger.  He thought he could not tell anyone, and thought it was useless to talk to God about […]

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Starting a New Season

One thing I love about the new year is the built in pause to reflect on your life before moving into the next season.  This past new year brought many changes for me – the end of my first semester in the midwifery program, my first trip home to see family in a year… and […]

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Learning to Love

I wanted to share another secret with you.  Before I had children I couldn’t imagine anyone could ever be as good a mother as I would be. When my daughter was born everything was perfect. When I found myself pregnant with my son I suddenly struggled to accept that I could mother both children. How could I […]

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Open My Eyes Lord

I am a reluctant nurse and never expected to be training as a nurse midwife.  I had given up the idea of being a midwife several years ago because my state did not license CPMs. I couldn’t stomach the thought of being the kind of midwife who was in an office doing pelvic exams all […]

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