Try to keep a straight face

Try to keep a straight face

We wanted to share with you some of the funniest things the women asked us, and a few things that were hysterical because of the translation. Please keep in mind that we really do love most of these women and understand we were the first people that taught them anything about their bodies.

“Why is it when you stick your finger in a woman’s anus that in some women the finger stops, and for other women the finger can go deep in?”

Jennifer’s answer “Why do you stick your finger in omen’s anuses?” We found out the next day about the level of internal cleanliness the women are required to keep.


“Why is it that when you do an enema once a month, the baby may still be born with mucus”


“Why do they tell us to go to the hospital for surgery to have a baby because we are short”

“Why is it that when you breastfeed, the baby turns brown even though it was born with light skin”

“Why when I am pregnant for four or five months do I stop wanting to have sex with my husband”

Regarding natural family planning “this is great, but how do you get the husband to agree to wait to have sex?”

“When are you going to teach us how to cut the cord” asked nearly daily

“Are you sure this is safe, the midwives teach us hands and knees is a bad position, I might kill my baby”

“Why is it that if you make fufu during your monthly bleeding your husband cannot eat it?”

When discussing other ways couples can be intimate during the postpartum recovery period, “What do you do with your hands?”

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Jennifer Vanderlaan CNM MPH is the author of the website. She has been working with expectant families since 2000, training doulas, childbirth educators, and midwives. She has worked with midwives in Central America and Sub-Saharan Africa. Her interest in public health grew in 2010, and she is now a PhD student learning to become a producer of knowledge.

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