Thank you to guest mentor Patricia for sharing these thoughts.

I’ve served women for 30 years as a Birth Doula. Only in the last 2 years have I become aware of the known profession. At my age I decided to challenge my brain and pursue this arena of so called expertise in childbirth. At first I was intimidated by the some-what medical side of the learning process.

What I had been doing naturally was now in question as I attempted to make my way through two certification processes. It amazed me that all the previous births I had attended would not be validated by this, ‘Certification Board’. So, like many of you aspiring Doulas and Childbirth Educators – I started all over from the beginning. It is a daunting task keeping track of all the specific paper work required by each individual organization. The young women I met in my Doula Training Workshop were mostly younger than my children. I found it difficult to find a mentor that did not feel their territory was being invaded. I kept my heart and eyes open – and found one. I persevered despite the obstacles.

I took a few young Doulas under my mother hen wing and found myself filled with joy as I encouraged them to seek their passion and not to grow weary in well doing. Often in a competitive market we can feel like hamsters running around on a wheel and getting no where close to where we thought we could go. Don’t give up! Find a mentor – make a friend for life.

Thank you to guest mentor Kalah for sharing today.

The best thing you can do for a mother is to help her trust the process.  If she tells you she feels like something is wrong, listen to her.  Her instincts are one of the best tools you have.  She knows what she needs, and if she trusts herself, she can lead you in your care of her and her baby.

We had one mother who told her doctor that her waters had broken and that her labor was about to start.  He brushed her off when a cervical swab failed to test positive for amniotic fluid.  Two hours later she delivered precipitously into my hands without him.

We had another mother who kept insisting that something was wrong with her newborn a few hours after birth.  He appeared perfect.  We even had the Ped come in to check him for her.  She would not sleep with him in the room so we had him at the nursing station with us.  Around 2am we noticed his color was off.  Turned out he had transposition of the great vessels and almost certainly would have been dead by morning if she had accepted out reassurances.

The disregard for maternal instinct is at the core of the maternity care crisis in America.  Mothers are taught that they are a passive part of the labor and delivery.  The doctor knows best and they should do as they are told or their baby will be in danger.  Mothers who question authority or try to refuse interventions or even pain medications are often treated like problem patients.  Far too many women deliver in lithotomy position, or semi reclined lithotomy.  That is the most physiologically dysfunctional position, but it’s convenient for the birth attendant.

As birth health care providers, we must remember that we are working for mothers.  Everything we do should be for the mother and baby.  It is a crime to go to c-section because it’s close to dinner time, or to scedule an induction so we won’t miss Thanksgiving dinner.

So, trust the mothers and their bodies.  Intervene only when it is actually needed.  Don’t tell her she needs an epidural because the pain is only going to get worse.  Encourage and support her as she does her work.  Trust what she says and does.  Allow her to choose her positions.  Let her be in control.  We are merely support staff in the event.

Kalah

Thank you to Jaimee for being our guest mentor today.

I had both my kids unmedicated, one in a birth center with a CNM and one at home with a CPM, but mostly unassisted.  I think the number one thing birth professionals can do to support women is to instill in them the trust that their bodies know how to birth babies and there doesn’t need to be a prescribed method for growing babies and birthing babies.  Therefore there doesn’t need to be a bunch of interventions (including pointless prenatal tests, required fundal heights and weights, checking heart rate constantly during labor, checking dilation, directing pushing, etc.).  I think it takes a lot of experience, witnessing many pregnancies and births, for a professional to get to the point where she is comfortable letting a woman just BE and simply being present to catch the rare problem.

I was so frustrated by the directed pushing my first midwife did when I reached 10cm yet had no urge to push.  My friend was recently told to “hold on” since she wasn’t quite 10cm yet instead of being allowed to follow her body’s instincts.  The myth of 10cm is just one thing that inexperienced midwives still succumb to.  I also measured “behind” during both  my pregnancies, which alarmed my midwives unnecessarily.  Both seemed to not trust that I was eating properly and thought my baby could be dangerously small.  My first was 7lb 1oz and my second was 8lb 2oz.  I could go on and on, but my point is, the best wisdom a birth professional can have is trust in the female body, the ability to spot when something is truly a problem, and to otherwise stand back and let nature take her course.

Jaimee

As you look around your community do you see unmet needs of expectant families? Do you hope more advocates for normal birth decide to serve families? Did you know you can play a role in helping future birth professionals find their path, and you don’t have to start a school or become a trainer to do that. Your role can be as simple as becoming a mentor.

The mentoring concept is pretty easy, you provide a space for someone who has not yet learned the things you know to discover those very things. While the concept is easy, in practice it can be difficult to set up a mentoring relationship. Most women are not accustomed to looking at a relationship with the boundaries of mentoring. Mentoring is a time-limited relationship, when the mentoring time is over the relationship will change. Mentoring is a purposed relationship, both parties are working towards a common goal rather than simply enjoying the friendship. I found a worksheet that may help you define some of the boundaries of your mentoring relationship.  It is designed for a youth mentoring program, but you could easily adapt it because the questions it asks are relevant to any formal mentoring partnership.

Mentoring also requires accepting that you have something you can teach another woman. If you have been working in the birth world for many years you may already accept this fact. But you might not. I had been a birth professional for eight years, eager to soak up as much knowledge as I could find, when I realized I was no longer a “beginner” at birth. Yes, I still have much to learn. But that does not mean that what I have already learned would not help someone with less experience than I.

So this week I will be posting guest mentors. Not famous names or leaders in the childbirth world, but readers just like you who have realized they know something about birth that other birth professionals could benefit from knowing.  Enjoy!